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Nascency

by I Am Destruction

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1.
Born. Awakened. Suffering. Sustained.
2.
I walk this world as a man in physical form, brought to life through violence and pain, through means of existence my body was failing. Though it’s not my flesh – it’s my mind, and I’m going insane. I’ve walked this earth all alone. Defied the sovereign one through my actions, now this is my curse. They’ve returned, the urges, to kill. In my purest form, an angel of darkness. Birthed from the depths of hell. Longing, yearning, fiending for death. Not my own, but all others around me. Misted by the blood of my victims, I get lost in euphoria. My eyes dilate. Standing in remains, sinew and viscera, I’m captured in this moment, as if I’ve been here before. A great confusion encapsulates me. Caressing me with its lustful void. “Have I been here before? Is this something I’ve done?” Looking through my mind’s cavern I find nothing, just pain. In my stupor I react as one would. Fits of rage and acts of aggression, but it’s not really what I want (no). Only desire is the answer to, “I”. Never to be found. As time passes on my memory errodes to a mush. Time passes and I feel left behind. I lie in bed and bask at my current state. Is this what I am to become? I’ve traversed the depths of hell to come back as a man. In a moment of clarity, I remember why I returned. My son.
3.
Grasping. I clutch my child close. I feel his warmth meet mine. Gasping, in awe of creation. Witnessing the the natural science. Mother, she rests for now she has done enough. Overwhelmed by the love. Consumed by paternal instinct. Suddenly, I see visions. Open eye hallucinations. Beast, man, and destruction. Plague cascading down on this earth to consume, to devour all. A single figure standing in the midst conducting and controlling this misery The stench of death comes from his fingertips, and his breath is that of sulfur. His empty eyes remind me of my own. It’s with dread I realize the foreshadowing. The foretelling of my son’s destiny. Brought to life for death. To bring about 1000 years of disease. Blegh At first it was dread! Now I’ve come to accept my spawn as an extension of myself, a harbinger of the apocalypse,
4.
As he grows, I mold him and shape him to be the man he is destined to be. Strong, vigilant, a bringer of light. Leading the world to its end. Each day passes and he grows in stature. Not only in body, but in his mind. Intelligent, wise, a bringer of death. The omnipresent hands of YHWH are always searching. Hunting for the opposition to the Kingdom of God. The heavenly host, the slaves to the Father. Carry out his nefarious intentions. Mindless they blindly follow his words. The tools for containment, control. The shepherds over the flock. They darken the skies. Coming. Coming to eradicate the adversary. BEHOLD! They descend! The mighty hands of God. Their hands grasping for him – I try to fight it, but I’m easily overtaken. I’m mistaken. They were never reaching for him. They come for me! Their reaching grip, opens my mouth, and they consume. Forcing themselves inside. Invaded. I am not my own now. No longer in control now. Begging and pleading I hope for response. “Save him the horror of life’s cruel grasp.” From the heavens I heard the voice, almost as a song “Your son is anything but innocent. He will feel the fire from which he was born”
5.
Madness. Upon hearing the sounds of the heavens, open up, and embrace me. Their promise of action against its nemesis. “We will consume the flesh and bone until nothing remains. Not body. Not memory. His future is blasphemy and must be snuffed out like a flame, for he himself is the scourge of the Earth” Mental anguish befalls me. Ugh Psychosis It begins. I’m losing my mind, encased in a room with no light. I know I exist outside, but I have no sight that leads me to continue having those thoughts. I am controlled by another. I can feel his essence. Pushing its way through my muscles and causes the unthinkable. Hands grasps so tightly skin is forced through my fingers. His neck. His life. My son. Entwined. I scream mindlessly, but nothing comes out. I’m forced. It’s done. I can’t stop. “Watch your son die in your own grasp. His soul crushed like his trachea. Extinguished. This adversary of God has been squelched, no one will know his name. Filicide carried out in His name. It is finished. Amen. Selah.” – Michael Through my tears I can still feel his heart beating, ringing in my ears like a thousand drums. His will to live is stronger than the heaven’s might. “Please take my life and give him his. Take this body as your own. As I speak. So, may it be.”
6.
I feel this anguish. The coming suffering. Creeping inside my flesh like worms feasting making their way through my veins. I made myself the offering. Taking on the wrath of God to stop the slaying of innocence. Cancerous boils covers this shell – ripening pustules set my skin aflame. My flesh suffers and so does my mind! The pain so astounding – I lose control of my muscles – they begin seizing – heightening my misery. Insides begin churning – a feeling I can’t explain. A rush of liquid to my mouth, I begin vomiting. Velvet liquid containing mass. Insides. Liquified. The sores that cover begin to expand. The outer skin rupturing causing the liquor puris to expose. Now covered in my own bodily fluids. I reach the apogee of this stimulation. Rushing through every orifice, I leak more of my essence. In the presence of my son, he looks in horror, as I expire. “Son, go forth and become…..” Before I can finish, my breath has run out. My gaze never leaves him, my life now in the hands of eternity
7.
8.
Self-realization, I am my father’s son. His impression on me is strong. Instructing me to my final destination. Forcing me onto a path that I did not get to choose. Therein lies the question, do I accept this fate, or do I take it into my own hands? I know the ending, but I don’t want to accept it. My fears overrule my better judgment. I’ve always known. Every day it drags me closer. Whispering, wanting, lusting for life. Enticing me with its splendor. The Void. It beckons. Rolling blackouts, no memory. I awake with blood on my hands. It seems I can’t control it now. I’m influenced beyond finding the truth, and now I’m acting out on impulse. Killing. Mutilating. Thirsting, forever lifeless. My head falls back, as I cover myself in fluid. This must STOP. I can feel My head falls back, as I cover myself in fluid. Gehenna has won, I am now its prisoner. I slip myself away, to find eternity, never to find rest.
9.
10.
Nascency 04:14
I open my eyes to see my life. I’ve now become the great enemy. Released from death, and free to reside, on this earth, a ruler, God defied. Breath fills my lungs despite rigor mortis, joints begin to relax. I can feel my resurrection completing. Rise from my grave to begin this journey. I open my eyes to see my life. I’ve now become the great enemy. Released from death, and free to reside, on this earth, a ruler, God defied. Gripping fingers into soil to stand on my feet. The world is welcoming to my weight. I feel this hunger. Never satiated. Ever present. Burn. I’ve never felt a drive so strong, then that of rolling the earth like a scroll. Eaten up by the inferno. Foretold end of days. Waging war against the heavens. Oppose their angelic presence. 1000-year reign. Suffering, anguish, torment, no mercy. Removed from the eyes of the great I Am, his people will fall. Bringer of malady, ender of light. Leviathan. Antichrist.

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released April 24, 2020

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